Anti Online Privacy and Net Neutrality? Vote for Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio is the Washington Establishment favourite (sorry Jeb) hoping to take down Tea Party Ted and the Donald for the GOP. Having placed in a solid third place in Iowa expectations are high for the scamp. However, his poor showing in the debate on Saturday night have people wondering, people wondering, people wondering. Oops, had a little touch of Rubiosis there. Rubiosis is a common condition amongst politicians where they repeat the same thing over and over because their media team strategized it.

Tech Literacy

Rubio knows that terrorists use the Internet to organise and says that surveillance programs need to be monitored and controlled. He has vowed to rebuild our lost intelligence capabilities if elected. One can only guess what lost capabilities he wants to rebuild. One thing is absoutely clear, Marco Rubio wants more access to our private lives so that he can defeat terrorism.

Rubio is not bad at social media, all the candidates have to do is hire someone under the age of 30 to run the ‘social media campaign’. It is worth bearing in mind that no one wants to have these politicians Snapchat stories. So being ‘not bad’ at social media is shorthand for “he doesn’t send pictures of his penis”.

Marco Rubio’s Limited Voting Record

Marco Rubio has the senate’s worst voting record. Missing 30% of the ballots in 2015.


  • Extending the roving wiretaps provisions of the PATRIOT Act in 2010


Says it all doesn’t it? Rubio wants things back to how they were before Ed showed his bespectacled face round these parts.


“This man a traitor who has sought assistance and refuge from some of the world’s most notorious violators of liberty and human rights.” (The Atlantic)

It is pretty hard to find Snowden’s opinion on Rubio. That tells you something, maybe if he manages to survive his attack of Rubiosis and wins a few primaries we’ll know more. Until then you can assume Snowden thinks Rubio is a jackass on account of his support for the PATRIOT Act, his opposition to the USA Freedom Act and the fact he wants him dead.


Rubio seeks to repeal the minor changes brought about by the USA Freedom Act. The guy is not a friend of the open Internet or Net Neutrality. Rubio is a firm believer that Net Neutrality will somehow restrict the Internets growth and increase costs on Internet users. He is the fresh face that the Establishment hopes will re-invigorate their dismal pre-campaign-campaign.

What’s more, in Saturday’s debate he fumbled while trying to make a rather pertinent point- inexperience does not equate with inefficiency. In an era of political deadlock Obama has done quite a few things, like em or loathe em. Rubio wants to be the Republican Obama. Hopefully, for the Internet’s sake, he will not get the chance. Because the truth is looking at his voting record and quotes in the media, he’d be awful for the web, the web, the web. There’s that damn Rubiosis again. Thank God for Obamacare.


Featured Image of Marco Rubio – (StanHonda/AFP/GettyImages)